i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
