He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
