That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this just has baby written all over it
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize