Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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