So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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