I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
