Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
