She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
