Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
