I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
