Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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