The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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