I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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