My room smells like vodka and shame
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
This house was built for laser tag.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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