it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
