he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
