i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I don't think brook has ever known best
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
