another moral hangover. fuck.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize