gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
