Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Randomize
