You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
