Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
