So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i think i just lost a toe
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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