her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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