its not stalking. its research.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
