pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
