We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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