Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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