lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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