I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
