also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
