Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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