Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
