If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
