i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
