Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
