I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
