I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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