I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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