I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Damn victory sex feels great
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
