Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
