Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I enjoy the company of your penis
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize