My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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