I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My dick has a subreddit
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
