You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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