Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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