I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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