I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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