By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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