it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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