i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think your dad took our porno
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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