I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
