i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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