I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Dicks are not precious.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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