You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize