So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
