so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize