You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize