I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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