Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
