So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We had sex on a dog bed..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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