STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
