how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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