just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
