Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
