The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
