Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
