Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
