3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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