Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
