I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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