Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
