I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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