Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You have to summon your inner elephant
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
