I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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