Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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