so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize