just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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