are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
