Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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