That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
